Zebra Children: A Guide to Interracial Dating from the Closet for Immigrants and their Children

by Storyteller Archy Jamjun

Please Note : The following video is part of a comedy routine. The video includes some mild sexual content.

Story Summary:

When in high school, Archy and his Thai family get into a fight about him dating a black girl. Years later, when Archy came out to his mother, he finds that his mother’s racial attitudes have conveniently changed.

For a print friendly version of the transcript, click here:  Zebra Children-A Guide to Interracial Dating from the Closet for Immigrants and their Children

Discussion Questions:

  1. What kind of discussions about race have you had with your family?
  2. Have you ever dated outside of your “race” and how did your family feel about it?
  3. How do you react when you feel like someone is being racist or spreading racist ideas?

Resources:

Network TV Show: Fresh Off the Boat
The Namesake
by Jumpia Lahiri
The Kitchen God’s Wife by Amy Tan

Themes:

  • Asian American/Asians
  • Crossing Cultures
  • Family and Childhood
  • Identity
  • Stereotypes and Discrimination

Full Transcript:

Hi I’m Archie Jamjun.  So, I’m 16 years old and in my parents basement.  My girlfriend Nicole and I were going at it.  We had our clothes on but she was straddled on top of me and we were making out, and that’s when I heard it.

[In simulated Asian accent] “Archy, get up here right now. ”

There’s nothing like the voice of your mother to kill the mood.  So I got myself together.  I ran up the stairs, and there was my mother.  She’s pacing frantically.  Her eyes were wild and she’s like, [simulated Asian accent] “What are you doing?  What is she doing to you?  She’s wild like an animal.  You have to tell her to stop. You have to tell her to go home.”

And like, I realized that no mother wants to witness their child’s sexual activity but I felt like my mother was overreacting.  First of all, we still had our clothes on and second, I thought my mother would be relieved to see me with a girl.

Like my whole childhood was filled with accusations of being gay.  I was so obviously gay that one day my mother pulled over the car when I was eleven and asked me [simulated Asian accent] “Archy, do you think you are a woman?” And like I kind of knew what she meant, but I didn’t because I was eleven.

But anyways, that day my mother told me Nicole had to go home.  And you know, I just had to rest with the fact that she was still confused about me.

A few days later though, my parents told me we had to have a talk.  And so I got into the living room and my dad says, [simulated male Asian accent] “Your mom, she wants to tell you something.”

And right there, I knew it was not to be good so I turned to look at my mom.  And she says, [simulated Asian accent] “Why do you have to date a black girl?”

And I was like, “Oh, I didn’t know this was a topic.  I thought we were going to talk about the birds and the bees.”

Then she says, [simulated Asian accent] “I don’t want to have Zebra grandchildren.”

Now holy ish.

While my mother had never carried a love for black culture, she had never done anything to make me think she was racist either.  I mean how could a woman who immigrated from Asia be racist in America.  How do you get discriminated against and then be like, ‘oh my god that was great actually do that to somebody else.’ And I grew up kind of sheltered I when I thought of racism I thought of the KKK are Nazis.  I didn’t really realize that minorities could hate other minorities.  I know it sounds nice but I thought racism was like a white thing I didn’t know that we could do that too but we were.

And I asked my mom, “What are zebra grandchildren?”  |

[simulated Asian accent] “Your children will be zebras because they will be half black and half Asian.”

And I was like, “No they would be bumblebees.”

And then she’s like, [simulated Asian accent] “the black gene is so dominant and the Asian gene is so submissive you, your children and Nicole will have such a hard life now.”

At the time I was really mad and embarrassed by my mom.  I thought she was overly concerned what the rest of our family would think of her or what her friends would think of her.  What I didn’t realize was she was also trying to protect me, I mean she was wrong, but she was trying to protect me and she was trying to protect me from all the racism she had encountered as an Asian woman and to her black people as well.

She had stereotypes I’m sure, but to her, black people were the ultimate target of America’s hatred and racism and combining her experience with what she considered their shared experience just seemed like it would be a nightmare to her.

She put it so eloquently too.  She said [simulated Asian accent] “if you have to date outside your race just date white people.”

And so the argument went on and on.  I was not in giving up any turf.  I told her this is America and I would date whoever I wanted.  She made me promise that I would not get Nicole pregnant which was a very easy promise to keep because I was still really scared of female body parts.

Fast forward a couple years and I was home from college during summer break. I had not

just come out of the closet.  I had broken the door down and in a classic passive-aggressive Asian move, I had my boyfriend at the time stay with me for a couple nights.  When he left my mom came up to me and she had figured things out.

And she was like “Archy, Archy are you gay?”  And I knew that my mom had snuck into the bedroom between four and five [in the morning] and [had] seen us.

So I said, “what makes you think that?”

And she said [simulated Asian accent] “Well, friends do not sleep with friends naked.”  And so I nodded my head.

So, I said, “Mom I’m gay.”  And my mom thought about it.

She said [simulated Asian accent], “Archy I don’t think that you’re gay. I think that really you love black women but I have suppressed you with my anger and now you think you are gay.”

[I was thinking and thought]  “Mom, you’re totally right I used to be straight.  I love black women.   You yelled at me and now I’m gay.  It’s your fault.”  And maybe I let my mom believe that for a few days not because it’s right or anything, but because that’s Karma.

Thank you!